Family Dinner

2/16/14

We left home around 7am to visit the whole family and Hoan's wife who has been staying in a hospital for a week. Most people in Vietnam owe a motorcycle but not always a car. So when many of us go somewhere together, we often hire a driver. There were six of us besides the driver getting in a car. Mom and Dad sat together on the front seat and four of us got in the back seat. It was pretty packed, but I guess this is normal in Vietnam since there are so many people and only a few cars are available. I've realized six people in a regular sized car is nothing because there were eight of us later on. We had to pretty much sit on each other's lap then.

Before we went to visit Hoan’s wife, we stopped by at a house of Mom’s sister. I guess today is a day the whole family get together once in a while and eat together. At least 30 relatives showed up, and among them there were lots of older folks, some young adults, and kids. I introduced myself in Vietnamese but who knows how it came out, but they were all smiling and welcomed me. 
Elders were all sitting inside, younger women were working at the kitchen, and kids played outside. 

The dinner had started, but there is an order who eat first. Duc (who is a grandson of Mon and Dad and has bee a sort of my translator) explained that one of the reasons was simply there was not enough room for everyone to eat at once. 

First, all the elders eat, next, some members of the family, and finally the family I've been staying with, young adults, and kids. I imagine another reason for this is something about "respect". The kids were getting hungry but never complained. Duc said to me "don't worry, we can eat soon". Maybe I was showing how hungry I was without noticing...

Finally we sat down on a straw mat to eat. I haven't seen any women drinking, but since I do drink and I am a sort of guest, they kept offering me beer and sake. Every time they poured me the sake, they cheered for "friendship", "peace", "family", "health", and "fertility". They also kept putting food on my rice bowl especially chicken that had tender parts. At some point you have to learn "I'm full" in Vietnamese. They all laugh a lot, eat a lot, and drink a lot. Even though this doesn't happen everyday, I thought maybe the origin of "family" is kept in this type of tradition. 

２月１６日

今日は朝からHoanの奥さんが入院しているという病院へ行くという事で７時に出発。ベトナムではたいていの人は原付を持っているが、車があるとは限らない。なので大人数で移動する時は運転手を雇う。お父さん、お母さん、お姉さん、Hoan, お姉さんの息子Ducと私でギューギュー  詰めで車に乗り込む。とは言っても６人なんてどうってことなく、後々は８人で重なり合って乗るという具合だ。病院にまず行くと思いきや、お母さんのお姉さんの家にまず寄るということ。女性達が食事の支度をしている間、Ducとそのまた親戚がお寺に連れて行ってくれた、がその話はまた後日。１，２時間ほどして帰ってくると、お年寄りから子供まで３０人以上の人が集まっていた。今日は親戚一同の集まりだったらしい。一応、片言にもなっていないベトナム語で自己紹介をしておいた。通じているのかいないのかは別として、とにかく皆笑顔で迎えてくれる。おじいちゃん、おばあちゃん、男達は皆家の中、女達は台所で食事の準備、子供たちは外で遊ぶ。
食事が始まったが、家も小さく、皆一緒には食べれないということで、まずお年寄りの方々が食事をし、その次に家族の中でも順番があるのか、もう一グループが食事をする。子供たち、お父さんお母さん家族、若い世代は最後となり、子供たちは空腹の中、辛抱強く文句一つ言わずに遊びながら待っていた。Ducが「心配しないで、もうすぐ食べれるから」と親切に説明してくれる。
遂に順番が回ってきて、皆でゴザの上にご飯を並べ一緒に食べる。女性がお酒を手にしているのはあまり見かけないが、私は飲む＋お客さんだからということでビールやお酒を振舞ってくれる。お酒は注がれるたびに乾杯の音頭が叫ばれ、ご飯はちょっとよそ見をしていると、どんどん自分の茶碗に盛られていく。特に鶏肉は柔らかいところをくれようと、一つ食べたらいつの間にかもう一つのられているという状態。「お腹いっぱーい」というベトナム語を学んでおいた方が良さそうだ。とにかく皆よく笑い、よく食べ、よく飲み、とにかく仲が良い。きっと毎日がこうでなくても、家族ってすばらし～って思うのは、こういう慣習で繋がっているのかもしれない。